February 1st, 2019
“I like to reinvent myself, it’s part of my job” -Karl Lagerfeld, fashion icon.
I wasn’t always this person. I was a stay at home mother. I loved that job. I devoted my time being the best I could as a homemaker. I learned to sew, paint, build and create while building a life for my family. As the years went by and 5 children later, I was proud of my maternal accomplishments and ability to organize children’s parties and re-decorate my home. I took on some manageable design projects outside the home, I started to build a small following-but all within the safety of my role as a stay at home mother. With a gentile nudge from my own mother, I stepped out of my comfort zone and entered a design contest on CTV.
This changed my life. During the live TV Broadcasts I was tested, encouraged to teach viewers about design and introduced to fellow creatives that aligned with my feelings on being an entrepreneur. I had to push through negative self doubt and create a persona in my mind that would allow me the confidence to speak in front of a crowd on live television with no experience or classes. As a result, my horizons broadened, and I was excited to teach and push my creativity further. The listeners who are excited to learn and appreciative of helpful information became my source enlightenment and joy. My design business flourished, my network and confidence grew.
My role as a stay at home mother evolved too, I was now a working woman building a career full time and using lessons I was learning to educate my children on the importance of staying organized, travelling as a form of education and encouraging them to celebrate their differences-after all, what made me different was making me successful.
As my career grew so did the resentment within our family unit. I was no longer able to devote the same amount of time to taking care of our home. The children’s needs and my growing business was giving me life and although I was happy-it turns out some of my family was not. I found myself pushing down my excitement over the next creative project or being cautious to not speak too much about my career while in the presence of the person closest to me-for fear of hurting his feelings. The underlying tone of my creative work “not being a real job” was beginning to wear on me and was the ultimate kiss of death to this relationship.
In my heart I new this gift is valuable and should be shared with the world. That is how my life changed. I learned to listen harder to myself, focus my energy on the people who lift me up and lift others, to teach by example and that creativity cannot flourish when you’re unhappy. I let my inner voice guide me to people and projects that fueled my creativity and supported me for who I am as a business woman and mother. I took my business seriously and rewarded myself with self care. I travelled, I laughed, I learned, I grew.
In fact, I grew in to Amanda Aerin.
She is the most confident version of me, she has wisdom, she is resilient and strong. She is working at being the best version of herself to form a light of guidance for her children and other entrepreneurs who find themselves sitting in the place I once was, fearful of letting my true colours shine through for fear of making some people feel inadequate.
So, allow me to introduce you to Amanda Aerin– she is the best parts of me.